All Dogs Go To Heaven (SOLD)

Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 18" x 22"

My grandfather was 96, and he really wanted to reach 100 so he could get that letter from the king. They found a clot the size of a grape in his heart, and it was blocking the flow of blood to one of his lungs, which was dead as a result. On the X-ray it looked like a shrivelled black bean. The doctors said “We don’t know how you’re still alive,” and he beamed a beaming smile. Six weeks later he had a stroke and was put into palliative care where he hallucinated rows of teeth in the windows. Before the funeral mum told me he had been prescribed pregabalin for nerve pain and I went to his house looking for it like it was the Holy Grail, but somebody else had already beaten me to it so I copped some dexies off my cousin at the wake instead, who is a Rhodes Scholar.

The Canonization of Ramen and Miso in Black Robes (SOLD)

Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 22" x 18"

God owns two cats and he sometimes pays me to look after them. Two little scamps who lack object permanency. One is a pervert and the other is an over-eater. The pervert watches me when I shower and licks himself. The over-eater inhales his food, immediately throws up on the carpet, and then meows at me until I feed him again. The system is broken and he does not know how to learn.

Dad

Paint software

Little Butterfly Murderer (SOLD)

Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 22" x 18"

The Neighbour

Paint software

A picture of my neighbour who threatened to kill me so many times I lost count. He was violent. He was unhinged. He chased me down the street one morning accusing me of all sorts of things.

The Sea Was Angry That Day, My Friends

Exhibited at the Federal Department of Communications & the Arts, Canberra, 2022, assembled with Microsoft Word, printed in any size, signed & dated

The Boss

Paint software

A picture of my boss who was arrested on two counts of attempted murder and one conspiracy to commit murder. They fucking suck, and they owe me money.

Paranoia (SOLD)

Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 18" x 22"

What Makes You So Fucking Special
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 16" x 20"

I decided to paint a portrait because I had never really tried to before. It was Easter. I ate chocolate for breakfast and spent the mornings layering acrylic washes and watching bad movies in the background. In the afternoon I swam laps at the local leisure center; sometimes I sat in the spa and sauna. Later, when I finally finished, I went to the beach. You know, to get away from everything. I saw Dune Parts I and II and snuck a banquet of succulent Chinese food into the cinema. I went to rock pools and the hot springs and ate fine dining on a coupon. There were signs everywhere forbidding sex, and nobody was happy.

Gravity
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 16" x 20"

Album Cover: Who Needs Self-Respect When You've Got Dependable Dick
Watercolour and Paint software

Some years ago Stella asked me to design a cover for her new album. I had just moved back from Indonesia and was only months into my painting journey, which is to say I didn't know what the fuck I was doing but she offered $200 and I didn't have a job so I said sure. Back then I was really into painting pictures of  anthropomorphic Labradors on dates because I was dumb and in love. Then COVID-19 hit, and Stella moved to New Zealand. I just found this image on my computer and thought you might like it. I like it.

Go Go Go
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 16" x 20"

Spirit World Rising
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 20" x 16"

Stay Stay Stay (SOLD)
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 24" x 30"

The Landlord
Paint software

This is my landlord. He is crazy. Really really crazy. I have so many stories I could tell you about him, but they are for another time, and you will have to wait another day. 

The Romantic Dogs
Watercolour and Paint software, printed on Hahnemuhle German Etching, A2, limited edition of 10 copies, signed & numbered, watermark removed

Inspired by a date I never went on

with a girl I loved

who got on a plane

& went back home

to open a yoga studio

in Toronto

Sam, A Portrait (SOLD)
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 12" x 16"

This isn't Sam. Sam was a friend of mine who was a heroin addict. He was addicted to a lot of things in fact. I had entered an art competition with a painting I hadn't painted yet called "Sam, A Portrait" but I fucked it up so I painted and submitted this instead. I don't know what Sam is doing these days. Last I heard he moved back home.

The Outback Will Kill You, Part II
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 16" x 20"

The Outback Will Kill You, Part III
Acrylic on Italian Cotton, 20" x 16"

Album Cover: I Didn't Ask To Be Born A Party Girl
Watercolour and Paint software

One day, years ago, Stella asked me to design another album cover. Something simple this time, she said. Make it simple. I was high all the time and I still didn't know what the fuck I was doing but I at least I was getting paid for once.

Words Cast Spells
Exhibited at the Old Auction House Gallery, Kyneton, VIC, October/November, 2023, acrylic on Italian Cotton, 20" x 16"

I Don't Love You
Finalist in the 2021 Agendo Art Prize & Exhibition, watercolour and Paint software, printed on Hahnemuhle German Etching, A2, limited edition of 10 copies, signed & numbered, watermark removed

Igorina (SOLD)
Acrylic on Italian cotton, 24" x 24"

Send Me Flowers & Light Me On Fire
Watercolour and Paint software, printed on Hahnemuhle German Etching, A3, limited edition of 10 copies, signed & numbered, watermark removed

This was the first professional piece I ever made. I had this kooky Irish hairdresser at the time who sold it in her shop. She grew up during the Catholic–Protestant War and had all these dark stories about owning manufacturing plants in China. I thought she was crazy. In a good way I mean.

A Portrait of Psychosis, Part I
Exhibited at the Old Auction House Gallery, Kyneton, VIC, October/November, 2023, acrylic on Italian cotton, 24" x 24"

A Portrait of Psychosis, Part II
Exhibited at the Old Auction House Gallery, Kyneton, VIC, October/November, 2023, acrylic on Italian cotton, 16" x 20"

A Portrait of Psychosis, Part III
Exhibited at the Old Auction House Gallery, Kyneton, VIC, October/November, 2023, acrylic on Italian cotton, 16" x 20"

A Portrait of Psychosis, Part IV
Exhibited at the Old Auction House Gallery, Kyneton, VIC, October/November, 2023, acrylic on Italian cotton, 20" x 30"

A Modern-Day Love Story
Watercolour and Paint software, printed on Hahnemuhle German Etching, A2, limited edition of 10 copies, signed & numbered, watermark removed

God Don't Make No Junk (SOLD)
Acrylic on Italian cotton, 24" x 24"

Meanwhile, At the Bottom of the World
Watercolour and Paint software, printed on Hahnemuhle German Etching, A3, limited edition of 10 copies, signed & numbered, watermark removed

Melbourne Stoned From My Bedroom Window At 25
Acrylic on Italian cotton, 12" x 16"

This was the view from my bedroom window way back yonder when I was writing Seventy-Seven Tales from Urban Psychosis. I went through a lot of incense in that house. A lot. One of my housemates was Dutch and he hated it. The incense I mean not the pot.